I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
