Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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