good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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