Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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