worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
