Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
not ubering you a puppy
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
