...so i touched it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
