You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
