She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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