Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
