what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
