I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
