Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
