it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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