I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
