i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
