and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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