it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
