Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Green mimosas i think yes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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