pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
