Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
