Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
