All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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