I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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