Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
