Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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