Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
