I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
