Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
