TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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