So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I fill condoms, not promises.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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