yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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