i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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