I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
