The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
