i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
