Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my being single is dangerous.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
