Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
