in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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