at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
