I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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