i think i have two assholes
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
