If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
