her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
