Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
