They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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