so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
