I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
