I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
this hospital has no fireball
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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