someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
