could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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