Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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